Pigheaded pigskins and Tickle Me Elmo

Published 2/12/98

Random shots from a loose cannon...

° A few days ago I was at work standing around doing nothing, and I heard the song "When the Children Cry." One line from that tune in particular stuck in the back of my mind: "No more presidents and all the wars will end."

I thought about how that equation was possible. Being without a governing body is anarchy, and, after recalling several Mad Max movies, having a public without any rules to guide them by didn't seem too appealing. But I simply shrugged off that notion and continued to daydream about life's other pleasures.

While doing homework later that evening, I popped in a CD by The Offspring, heard a song called "Kill the President," and after hearing the line "In a world without leaders, who'd start all our wars?" I wondered again about the subject of eliminating our world's most powerful people and starting everything over again anew.

This got me the thinking - would we be better without that one person sitting up in his lofty office looking down at all of us mere puppets? After all, if we didn't have someone we could place all of our blame upon and forced to fend for ourselves without any rules, regulations or boundaries, would we be able to survive?

After recalling some incidents like the Tickle Me Elmo fiasco, which sent several people who were trampled by an exodus of parents trying to grab that ugly red monster, to the hospital, and the current El Nino "crisis," I concluded that having Big Brother look over our every move may not be such a bad idea.

° And speaking of people who can't think for themselves, there's a video game of mine called John Madden Football '93 that has a "teammate" feature included in it that enables two people to play on the same team. For example, one person can choose to be the quarterback and the other can select to be a wide receiver, running back or offensive lineman.

Anyway, this feature was first introduced in the previous year's release, John Madden Football '92, and for the most part, both instruction manuals are identical in look and content except for a passage in Madden '93's manual that comes right after explaining the teammates feature.

And I quote: "When one player is dissatisfied or upset with the play of his teammate, there is no need to argue. For example, if the player controlling the quarterback and the play-calling is making a lot of unwise decisions, both players should discuss the problem and come to an agreement - perhaps pause the game and decide together which play to run next. It's okay to be angry, but don't let your anger get the best of you, and never resort to violence."

Anybody know why this insert was placed in the 1993 game model and not the '92 one? Simple: the kids who probably broke into fisticuffs had parents who would sue a restaurant because the coffee was too hot.

Sometimes I step back, take a look at society and wonder.

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